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Joyce Carol Oates

Son of the Morning




For One Whose absence
is palpable as any presence—


Son of the Morning follows Nathan Vickery, a boy born from rape. After his mother leaves he is raised by his grandmother, a devout Christian. He shows signs early on of being a prodigal member of his faith, though once he turns 7 he begins to have intense ephemeral visions of Christ. As they continue he becomes aware of his difference to others. A difference that alienates himself to most of those around him.

These intense experiences burn a fire inside of him, as his loyalty to his faith continues to grow stronger. There becomes no other truth, only what Nathan is commanded through the spirit that engulfs him. He sees the world around him as consumed by the devil, and longs for Christ to guide him, who he continually refers to as You.

Bereft of You for the past three years, I am in dread of dying in my sins…I am in dread of the draining-away of my spirit. Once after You swooped so suddenly, like a great hawk, and I only a child at the time, I arose baffled and stunned, and it seems to me that the soul was a kind of thread: how easily it might have snapped if it were Your will, and thereby loosed from the body! - from the surrounding world!

Nathan goes on to deliver sermons as a fanatical evangelist. The Pentecostal nature of his beliefs causes him to develop disgust towards himself. Sexual desires that are no doubt the devil's temptations. This culminates in him taking a knife to his eye in front of a live audience to repent.

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire…

Following this act Nathan disappears, only to return with his own evangelical movement called the Seekers for Christ. This cult-like movement sees him as a miracle maker, a second coming of Christ. They must submit to him entirely, surrendering the past debris of their lives. His charisma on stage is longed for by those who follow him, he speaks to them so personally that they feel part of him. His talks of Satan inflict the deepest fear upon those who are in his presence, mounting himself as their saviour.

Despite the growth of the Seekers, Nathan still feels tormented. Tormented by the world around him. He is eventually attacked by one of his followers, one who loves him so much, but is dismissed by him. Despite being a life ending attack he did not resist, knowing that his life would be protected by Christ. The skull was crushed, the spirit fled from the body, time came to a stop.

He continues to rigorously spread the word of the Seekers, though eventually it all comes to an end. He sees for the first time, the face of You. You had retreated from him, and it was over. In the space of a pulsebeat he knew. His ministry and his life was over.

‘But he saw only You: shapeless, twisting and undulating and coiling and writhing and leaping.’



I think it’s an odd experience reading this book. The intensity of the experiences that Nathan finds himself in feel very visceral, vast and otherworldly. Though Nathan specifies them as visits from Christ, it is difficult for the reader to feel the same way. I think that’s just the nature of experience, that it can often be difficult to truly translate what we believe something to be. They tend to be so personal, especially spiritual experiences that we can attach so much of our identity to it. How could you think of it as anything but Christ if that is all you know.

Heaven and earth were joined together in a massive embrace, their parts coiled together, convoluted. It was darkness many times the darkness of an ordinary night. Yet Nathan could see: he could not have prevented himself from seeing.

In the case of Nathan these revelations from Christ are his whole world, they are there to guide him and nurture the depths of his soul. Regardless of where he finds himself in his life this dominant force crushes everything around him.

He seems to lose his way as the Seekers become larger and larger, though the donations and other material gifts seem to mean nothing to him anyway. However, when he loses Christ’s presence he loses every last drop of his identity, changing his name, as Nathan no longer exists, nor do many of his memories he has attached his existence to.

Death has no appeal; nor does suicide; for if I be washed in the Blood of the Lamb but it is my own blood, it will not be cleansing, it will be not be according to Your design. So I will wait for You, and will wait the rest of my life.


Belief can be so intoxicating and it can lead us to places that we could have never dreamed of. We can both live inside of it as we watch it project onto the edges of our life. I think we all attach ourselves to a guiding force inside of us. Whether that’s intense or not, we feel its undercurrents everyday.

I think we are much closer to the collapse of our identities than we think. How solid are the foundations that make up who we are. What would it look like to grieve the loss of your identity? How do you deal with a lack of meaning? It’s odd becoming so engulfed in something that you no longer relate to anyone.

‘For even then You allowed him the realisation of certain truths - that his terror had just begun.’


Often the most high-profile teachers are the ones who commit the most sins. Nathan is so different and detached from everybody that he has no accountability. Is narcissism the ultimate sin, where is lust, where is greed? He is so focused, so in fear, that he fails to step back. Where is the moral development when all you do is yearn? Awakenings themselves do not cure your inadequacies.

Is Nathan Lucifer, the morning star? To be the son of the morning was never fate to begin with.

All things unfold as they must